What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
