and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just had sex on a roof
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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