Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
