I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
