I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
