I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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