You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
