I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
