I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
