I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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