Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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