oh god the rape fog is back!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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