We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
