i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize