i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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