Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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