Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize