I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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