She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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