I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize