you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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