I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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