the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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