Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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