That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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