You're so nebulous sometimes
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
