Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
