mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
porn star boner night. come get it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
