I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
