I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
