I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
