Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
