just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
