I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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