You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
