i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
