i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
