I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
