DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize