PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
