If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
how does that bad decision feel?
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