Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
