your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
