$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
where does the pee come out of this thing
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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