U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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