I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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