i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize