he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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