have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
