the day after is always just damage control
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
