After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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