Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
