Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
