My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I cut my penus on the lid.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
