I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
