She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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