A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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