Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Even my vagina gasped.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
