idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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