Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
