Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
