No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I would fuck him just for his dog
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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