wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize