you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
