I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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