garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Come share oat with me in your robe
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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