Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i permit you to call me
People in love make me want to vomit
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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