The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
