You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize