I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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