and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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