I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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