Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
