Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
why is half of my head shaved?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize