Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
