Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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