I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
