D3 body, D1 cock
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
