i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize