Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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