he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
