Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
