i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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